blogging life mental health shopping super sale

life update + sale announcement

photo by Carrie Schwab

I don’t do a ton of general life updates around here, but I feel like I have so much to share! As the year starts to wrap up, I feel both busier than ever and more exhausted than ever. Before the last of 2017 gets away from me, here’s a little bit of what’s been going on in my life! (For the TL;DR crowd, you can scroll on to the bottom of this post for an awesome sale announcement!)

A New Home for Writes Like a Girl

After over six years of using Blogger, I finally made the switch to WordPress last week. Upon taking a step back from blogging, I thought about my goals for this space and what I needed to do to move forward in a happier, healthier way. One of those things was finally leaving Blogger behind. Most bloggers moved their sites over years ago, or simply started on either WordPress or Squarespace to begin with, but I’ve honestly always been really happy with Blogger and had no intention of leaving. Until, that is, I wanted to host the workbook on my site and couldn’t. I hated having to link out to Feel Good, Dress Better to another site, so I knew I’d eventually have to shake things up. You can now access and purchase the workbook right there in the top navigation which takes you to this page – that lives right here on Writes Like a Girl!

With a new back-end came a new front-end! I’ve never really had a logo for the blog, so I spent a couple of weeks whipping one up. I was also excited to switch up my layout in a way Blogger never really allowed for. My hope is that it’s easier to get to the content you want to see now that everything is more streamlined! You can view outfits by season via the sidebar, keep up with the series’ I’m currently sharing via the blocks at the top of my homepage, and still check out other categories via the navigation dropdown. The current favs and recent buys widgets aren’t new but I plan to do a better job keeping them updated. Once I list some new items on my Poshmark, I’ll add that widget to the sidebar too!

There will likely be some layout wonkiness here and there from the move, but all links should be working (fingers crossed)! If you see something [broken], say something [via tweet, Insta DM, comment, email, etc etc etc]. 😉

A New Therapist

I’ve mentioned in both my October and November small goals posts that I decided to go back to therapy, so I wanted to give a little update on that! For those who don’t know, I saw a therapist (whom I adore) from 2013 through mid-2016. (You can read about my decision to take a break from therapy here.) This has been a rough year for just about everyone I know. The political climate and perpetually upsetting news cycle certainly haven’t helped in most cases, but between family health issues and my own creative burnout, my depression and anxiety crept back up in spades during late summer. I’m a huge advocate for therapy, but hadn’t really considered going back until a friend asked why I hadn’t. Suddenly, I felt better just at the thought of holding that space for myself, so I started my search to find a new therapist. (P.S. Check out my post on how to find a therapist here!)

Why a new therapist if I already have one I like? I’ve been getting this question a lot, and since therapy isn’t often talked about openly, I thought I’d offer some insight into my decision here. First, the majority of my previous therapy sessions had to do with my past career as a victim’s advocate on a domestic violence hotline, as well as a variety of issues rooted in my childhood and family. Those issues have been worked out and are less relevant (though not totally irrelevant, of course) to what I’m struggling with these days. The second reason I wanted to find someone new is because, and I had trouble admitting this to myself for while, I wanted to see someone closer to my age. So many of my current issues are related to my online presence as a content creator, and that was never something I felt like my past therapist totally understood. It initially felt silly to look for a “hip” or “with it” therapist, but I realized that feeling had to do with treating my own needs as frivolous. This became unfortunately evident with the first therapist I met with.

Getting real transparent here: I saw a therapist for two appointments and it wasn’t a good fit. I was so excited to see someone that I convinced myself to look past some personal red flags in a consult and again in a first appointment that led to a difficult second appointment. The therapist and I had a troublesome miscommunication that left me feeling pretty raw, trivialized, and ultimately misunderstood. I had decided to see her one more time to see if the uncomfortable appointment was just a fluke, until reflecting on the situation triggered a minor panic attack on my flight to Oregon. As soon as I got off the plane, I started my search again to find someone who I really connected with.

This time, I filtered my search on Psychology Today for therapists who also have life coaching expertise. I was hesitant to hire someone who was solely a life coach, but this dual-skill set has already proven to be exactly what I need. I’ve had one appointment with a new-new therapist and left feeling the way you do after a really good date: butterflies, excitement, planning our future together.

I’m sharing this because I hope to make a few things known about therapy:

  • Not every therapist is going to the right fit for you (and someone who is a fit now may not be later!).
  • It’s okay to break up with a therapist! (As soon as I contacted the new-new therapist, I sent a short + sweet email to the other one letting her know I’d like to cancel our appointment because I’d decided to go in another direction.)
  • Your needs are the most important thing, so keep searching until you feel your needs are being met.
  • A less-than-ideal experience with one therapist does not mean therapy isn’t for you. There are SO many different approaches + practices and each therapist puts their own spin on things.

If you have questions about therapy or finding a therapist near you, please know you can always reach out to me!

A Major Sale

Okay, for making it this far, I’m rewarding you with big news about a big sale! This is actually my favorite sale that Shopbop runs all year – the tiered sale. The more you buy, the more you save. That makes this a great sale to go in on with friends or family so you all save this on this season’s shopping!

Orders of $200+ receive 20%, orders for $500+ receive 25% off, and orders of $800+ receive 30% off.

To shop this sale, use the code MORE17 between now and November 26th, 2017 11:59 pm PT.

Here are some of my picks for this year’s sale:

Jeans

AG Jeans

Mila High Rise Skinny Jeans // Rhett Jeans // Mila Jeans

MOTHER

High-Waisted Looker Ankle Fray Jeans // Swooner Ankle Fray Jeans // Faux Suede High-Waisted Looker Jeans

Jackets

BB Dakota

Waller Faux Suede Moto Jacket // Johannes Jacket // Wade Faux Suede Jacket

Driftwood

Suede Moto Jacket // Embroidered Suede Moto Jacket // Suede Moto Jacket

Boots

Jeffrey Campbell

Hurricane Rain Boots // Cromwell Suede Booties // Elmcrom Laceup Boots

Sam Edelman

Corra Booties // Thora Tall Boots // Darrah Hiker Boots

Bags

Madewell

East/West Transport Tote // Zip Top Tote // The Transport Tote

Baggu

Circle Purse // Drawstring Bucket Bag // Circle Purse

Let me know what you end up getting during the tiered sale! Also, I won’t have another post before Thanksgiving, so I just wanted to take a sec to say how grateful I am for your support (yep, you!). Eat lots, rest lots, and love lots!

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  • The Adored Life

    YAY YAY YAY! GIRL I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

    The Adored Life

  • Harper Yi

    I am so excited for you! SO MANY THINGS!

    I am hype that you moved off blogger– As u know I’m STILL on there as well. I’ve been working on my first ever professional portfolio website (!!) on squarespace and it’s got me daydreaming about moving my blog over. I’m going to focus on new employment 2018 but I AM READY TO UPGRADE sometime soon.

    I am so happy that you got a new therapist that seems like a great fit for your needs and where you are now. I just started going to therapy for the first time in 3 years and this therapist seems like a much better fit than my last one. The last and first therapist I had was older (probably late 40s-50s) and was a very nice white woman who was, despite her best efforts, incapable of effectively relating to or communicating with me, a Hip Young Asian American Queer Woman of Color ™. I used Psychology Today too and prioritized finding a young-ish East Asian American woman therapist. I am really excited to be seeing her! Closing that communication and experience gap is WAY IMPORTANT and I’m glad you talked yourself out of your doubts.

    Lastly BLACK FRIDAY SALES LET’S GOOOOOOO

    Love you love you and I’m so hype for all these good good things!

  • I really need to go to therapy but I keep making excuses for myself (can’t afford it/don’t have enough time/don’t want to deal with the hassle of finding the right therapist). You inspire me so much and someday I will do it. Lol. Thank you so much for always sharing your experience!! Hope you have a great Thanksgiving! Your new site is a beauty, too. *heart eyes emoji*

    cottoncashmerecathair.com

  • So glad you found a therapist who was the right fit for you !!! 😀

  • Preach, girl. There are so many different styles of therapy that it really is possible to find one that works ideally for you. (Like, CBT was more helpful back when I was actively struggling with suicidal thoughts, whereas trauma-informed therapy been hugely helpful since my emotions have stabilized.) And I don’t think a lot of people know that. Thank you for spreading the word! And the new site looks great!! <3